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FAQs

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Birth Parent Questions

  1. How do I get a grant?
  2. How do I attend a retreat?
  3. What do your services cost?
  4. Am I eligible for your services?
  5. When is your next event?
  6. I need a Case Manager to contact someone on my behalf. What do I need to do?
  1. How do I get a grant?

    In order to receive a grant from On Your Feet, you will need to:

    1. Complete the Case Management Application.
    2. Work with your On Your Feet Case Manager to determine need, eligibility and write a grant application.
    3. Submit the grant application to On Your Feet’s grant committee for review. 
    4. Approved grants are typically funded within 7-10 days of approval following written acceptance of the terms and conditions assigned to the grant. 

    For more information, please visit our Case Management Application page.

  2. How do I attend a retreat?

    Registration for retreats opens 10 weeks prior to the retreat. Retreats are open to birthmoms regardless of their location or financial situation. To register for a retreat, complete the retreat registration form and, if needed, a grant request form. A case manager will contact you within 72 hours of receipt of a completed application.

  3. What do your services cost?

    There is no cost for On Your Feet case management services or to attend most On Your Feet events. The fee to attend retreats ranges from $25 for virtual to $150 for weekend retreats. Need-based financial assistance is available.

  4. Am I eligible for your services?

    Case Management services are available to all birthparents whose placement is finalized, though the level of service may vary based on location. 

    • Grants are currently only available to birthparents who placed in Illinois or Indiana and/or currently reside in Illinois or Indiana. 
    • On Your Feet Retreats are open to any birthmom, no matter her location.
    • Post-retreat counseling grants are available to any birthmom who has attended an On Your Feet Retreat, regardless of location. 
    • For more information on retreat grants, please visit our Retreat page. All birthparents are invited to join one of our private, closed facebook groups.
  5. When is your next event?

    Stay updated on events by joining OnYourFeet Friends, a private Facebook group, just for birthmothers; by requesting to be added to our mailing list; and be sure to check our calendar page.

  6. I need a Case Manager to contact someone on my behalf. What do I need to do?

    In order for a Case Manager to contact someone on your behalf, you might need to sign a release of information. Please reach out to our Director of Case Management, Jennifer Adams, at jennifer@onyourfeetmidwest.org for a link to our consent form.

     If you are a Spanish-speaking birthparent, please click on our Consentimiento Para La Divulgación de Información Personal. If you have any questions, please reach out to Jennifer.

    Para que un administrador de casos se comunique con alguien en su nombre, es posible que deba firmar una autorización de divulgación de información. Comuníquese con nuestra directora de administración de casos, Jennifer Adams, en jennifer@onyourfeetmidwest.org para obtener un enlace a nuestro formulario de consentimiento.

    Si es padre biológico de habla hispana, haga clic en nuestro Consentimiento Para La Divulgación de Información Personal. Si tiene alguna pregunta, comuníquese con Jennifer.

Adoption Professional Questions

  1. Who is eligible for your services?
  2. How long can a birth mother receive services from OYFF?
  3. Do you offer crisis management services?
  4. What do your services cost?
  5. What types of services do you provide?
  1. Who is eligible for your services?

    Case Management services are available to any birthparent whose placement is finalized. Due to capacity constraints, only agencies that are members of our Birthparent Support Alliance may refer birthparents to our services.

    • Counseling and education grants are available to birthparents who have been actively engaged with our services for 4+ months. 
    • On Your Feet Retreats are open to any birthmom, no matter her location. For more information on our retrests, please visit our Retreat page.
    • All birthparents are invited to join one of our private, closed facebook groups as well as our BirthmomsConnect support groups that are held via Zoom 4x/month.

    We do not work with expectant parents, nor may our services ever be offered as an enticement for a birthparent to place their child for adoption.

  2. How long can a birth mother receive services from OYFF?

    There is no limit to the amount of time a birthparent can be involved with On Your Feet. From immediately post-placement to decades later, we find that birthparent needs change over time. Our mission is to meet every birthparent where they are, providing tailored services to meet their needs.

  3. Do you offer crisis management services?

    No. We do not provide crisis management services, but we will assist birthparents in connecting with appropriate crisis resources and will provide follow-up services. If this is an emergency, please call 911, 988, or you can reach the National Suicide Hotline by dialing: 1-800-273-8255.

  4. What do your services cost?

    There is no cost to birthparents to access On Your Feet case management services or to attend most On Your Feet events. The fee to attend retreats ranges from $25 for mini-retreats to $150 for weekend retreats. Need-based financial assistance is available.

    Agencies may become members of our Birthparent Support Alliance for $12,000 annually. This membership guarantees access to our services for your birthparents at any time following finalization of a placement, as well as providing complimentary access to Activism in Adoption.

  5. What types of services do you provide?

    Our birthparent services include:

    • Case management and coaching
    • Therapeutic weekend and virtual retreats for birthmoms
    • Virtual support groups held 4x/month
    • Grants for counseling with adoption-competent therapists, education and tuition assistance
    • Outreach, including education and advocacy.

    Agencies may access these services for their birthparents by becoming members of our Birthparent Support Alliance.

Adoptive Parent Questions

  1. How do I handle expectations in regards to communication?
  2. How do I talk to my child about adoption?
  3. How do I establish boundaries with my birthparents?
  4. What type of support can I provide to my birthmom?
  5. What should I do if my child’s birthparent asks for financial support?
  6. How do I connect with On Your Feet Foundation?
  1. How do I handle expectations in regards to communication?

    Communication between adoptive families and birth families is crucial to the healthy emotional and physical development of your child. When possible, it is helpful to establish communication expectations with the birthparents prior to your child’s birth. Be sure to make a plan that works for your family and your child’s birth family - the plan should be something that both sides can adhere to.

  2. How do I talk to my child about adoption?

    Talking about adoption is a life-long conversation that should begin as soon as you bring your child home. Express your excitement and gratitude about how your child came into your life. While it may be difficult at times, it is important to be open about your child’s adoption, while also being age-appropriate. Curiosity about their adoption story is a normal and healthy part of growing up. Visit our Resources  page for more information. 

  3. How do I establish boundaries with my birthparents?

    At times, this unique relationship can be challenging to navigate. It is important to set boundaries from the very beginning while allowing space for the relationship to evolve. Do not be afraid to seek help from your agency if boundaries become an issue.

  4. What type of support can I provide to my birthmom?

    The best way to support your child’s birthparent is to recognize how difficult the decision to place can be. Throughout the adoption process allow them space to make their decision. As the relationship grows, remember to keep the lines of communication open while maintaining and respecting boundaries. If you have concerns about your child’s birthparent’s well-being, contact your agency or On Your Feet staff.

  5. What should I do if my child’s birthparent asks for financial support?

    While you have the best intentions for your child and their birthparents, providing direct financial support rarely has positive outcomes. If your child’s birthparent needs financial support, please reach out to your agency or contact On Your Feet. 

  6. How do I connect with On Your Feet Foundation?

    There are many ways to get involved with On Your Feet including our board of directors and other volunteer opportunities. It is our mission to provide outreach and education to all members of the adoption constellation. If you are interested in getting involved, please contact us.

Family Member Questions

  1. What is an open adoption?
  2. What does open adoption mean for me?
  3. What does open adoption mean for my daughter?
  4. How can I best support my daughter, mom, and/or sister?
  5. I want to have a relationship with my grandchild. What do I do?
  1. What is an open adoption?

    In an open adoption, the birth and adoptive families have access to varying degrees of each other's personal information and have an option of contact. The adoptive parents hold all the rights as the legal parents. Yet, the individuals of the birth and adoptive families may exercise the option to open the contact in varying forms: from sending mail and/or photos, to face-to-face visits between birth and adoptive families.

    On the other hand, closed adoptions only allow for the exchange of non-identifying and medical information regarding the birthparents, typically through the agency through whom the child was placed.

  2. What does open adoption mean for me?

    The feelings that you experience as an extended family member in adoption are real and should be acknowledged. That being said, it is up to the birthparents and the adoptive family to determine the role that you play in their open adoption. As with all relationships, be prepared for this relationship to grow and change.

  3. What does open adoption mean for my daughter?

    As a birthmom, your daughter will hopefully have an adoption plan that has been carefully thought out by her pregnancy counselor within an agency or between the birthmom and her prospective adoptive family. The level of openness is completely up to the agreement that is made between those two parties. Any communication agreement, however, is not legally binding and can be changed by either party at any time. 

  4. How can I best support my daughter, mom, and/or sister?

    Validate their concerns and allow them to grieve. The decision to place a child with another family is fraught with many often complicated emotions. Many women feel isolated while in the decision making process and after placement. Be supportive; encourage them to communicate their feelings and be ready to listen to them when they are ready to talk. Check in and be persistent while also giving them time to process and grieve. This is not a linear process and needs will change over time.

  5. I want to have a relationship with my grandchild. What do I do?

    This will need to be discussed with the adoptive family and birthparents, ideally before placement. Open adoptions do not have legally binding contracts. Communicate with the birthparents about what you wish for the relationship, but understand that the birthparents and adoptive parents will determine the nature of the open adoption.

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